(aka How To Lose Fake Money And Real Credibility, Part 29, today’s installment of your faithful reporter’s quest to prognosticate all 1,230 NBA regular-season games this season)

It’s getting so there’s almost no offseason for the NBA in terms of firing coaches. With P.J. Carlesimo and Eddie Jordan already having been whacked this month, here’s one observer’s list of which remaining coaches are in the most danger (from most stable to least):

30. Gregg Popovich, Spurs

Has he already done the necessary modeling for the inevitable statue they’re going to put up at AT&T Center?

29. Jerry Sloan, Jazz

You’d have a better chance finding water in the Great Salt Lake.

28. Doc Rivers, Celtics

Without KG and Ray Allen: Dead man walking. With them: Genius!

27. Byron Scott, Hornets

He already survived the best Baron Davis had to dish out. What more proof do you want?

T26. Scott Brooks, Thunder
T26. Ed Tapscott, Wizards

They can’t fire two guys in one season. Can they?

24. Mike D’Antoni, Knicks

The other big winner from the Knicks’ two deals, D’Antoni is now completely safe for two years, unless he manages to bollocks up the Starbury end-game.

23. Phil Jackson, Lakers

This is less a reflection of instability for Phil and more an acknowledgment that the ultimate uppetmaster is always a threat to pack up his motivational toys and go home.

22. Don Nelson, Warriors

See No. 23, only change “ultimate puppetmaster” to “smallball crusader.” Oh, and don’t forget a guaranteed $12 for the next two seasons.

21. Nate McMillan, Trail Blazers

Combined with his playing days in Seattle, he has the potential to become the Northwest’s biggest basketball icon.

20. Rick Adelman, Rockets

He’s had experience with volatile players before, and if he can keep Ron Artest under control, this should be relatively smooth sailing for a while.

19. Vinny Del Negro, Bulls

It all depends on how long he remains tight with Derrick Rose.

18. Stan Van Gundy, Magic

He better hope that Patrick Ewing can broaden Dwight Howard’s game, or his seat will become significantly more precarious.

17. Erik Spoelstra, Heat

He’s making Michael Beasley work for his minutes, but is that a good thing?

16. Terry Porter, Suns

Steve Nash does not seem fully pleased with the slowdown his team has undergone as the new home of Shaquille O’Neal, if this quote from SI.com is any indication: “We just don’t run much anymore. We’ve lost the habit of running, that tempo. It’s not the end of the world when you’re playing with Shaquille. But when he doesn’t play, and…

(Today’s installment of your faithful reporter’s quest to prognosticate all 1,230 NBA regular-season games this season and, while doing so, prove that, yes, in fact, an untrained chimpanzee could do a better job than a former traveling beat writer.)

(Just checking to see if you’re still reading what’s in italics up here. Carry on.)

Bucks (7-8) at Magic (9-4), 4:05 p.m.
Pick: Bucks +9
Years ago, some friends of mine and I once came up with a slogan for Hooper’s Hooch: “Not as bad as you might think.” Maybe the Bucks ought to try it out.

76ers (7-6) at Bobcats (3-9), 4:05 p.m.
Pick: 76ers -3.5
Wasn’t Gerald Wallace supposed to be traded by now?

Rockets (9-5) at Heat (7-6), 4:35 p.m.
Pick: Rockets -3.5
Watching Artest roll up Beasley is why the universe invented League Pass.

Spurs (6-6) at Grizzlies (4-9), 5:05 p.m.
Pick: Spurs -3
How much do you think Mike Conley — and Greg Oden, for that matter — wish they would have stayed in Columbus a couple more years?

Bulls (6-8) at Jazz (9-5), 6:05 p.m.
Pick: Jazz -6.5
It was already hard enough to predict the Jazz with Deron Williams on ice, but now no Boozer, too? I’m not getting any points for added degree of difficulty, damn it.

Kings (5-10) at Trail Blazers (8-6), 7:05 p.m.
Pick: Trail Blazers -11.5
After the game, Steve Blake becomes the latest Blazer to issue a trade demand. The catch? He wants a trade on behalf of Sergio Rodriguez, not himself. “I can’t take listening to that guy bitch about a lack of playing time for even one more minute,” Blake said.

Hornets (7-5) at Clippers (2-11), 7:35 p.m.
Pick: Hornets -5.5
This line is like finding an ATM that’s just spitting out $20 bills for no apparent reason.

Yesterday: 3-2
Season record: 93-101-3

– Geoff

By Geoff Lepper
48minutes.net

Like Goldilocks, the Warriors tried three different types of lineups Sunday. Only one was just right — but it wasn’t the one that ended up on the floor in the final minutes of Golden State’s 89-81 loss to the 76ers.

The small ball attack that Don Nelson has been favoring lately — starring Corey Maggette at power forward — fell behind by eight points in as many minutes. The group one step up, with either Ronny Turiaf or Anthony Randolph on the floor as a legitimate power forward, couldn’t keep the Warriors from falling 17 points back.

But when Nelson put together a frontcourt consisting of Turiaf at 5, Brandan Wright at 4 and Randolph at 3, with 1:49 remaining in the third quarter, he had finally found a group that was capable of putting together defensive stops in bunches. That trio — along with Stephen Jackson and (mostly) Anthony Morrow — took over what had been a 72-58 deficit and turned it into an 80-78 game with 4:26 left.

Even Maggette admitted it after the game: “I think we should have gone bigger earlier.”

The largest group made a difference through its defense; the 76ers, who were on pace to score 102 points before Golden State went tall, shot 3-for-18 during that stretch.

Turiaf’s ability to jump the pick-and-rolls that had been plaguing the Warriors earlier in the game was a huge benefit, as was the shot-blocking of Turiaf (who had two of his five in this stretch) and Wright (who had two but was only credited with one). And Randolph’s long arms turned Andre Iguodala’s jumpers into adventures.

“It’s good because we all have long arms, and we all like to box out and play defense,” Turiaf said. “I think the other guys know that. We’re trying to protect the paint.”

That the protection didn’t extend to the final stretch was due in part to the youngsters’ mistakes at the other end of the floor. Randolph and Wright combined for three turnovers in their last six possessions together. That included a wildly optimistic one-handed, 50-foot skip pass from Randolph that skittered out of bounds, and a travel on Wright with 4:26 remaining when he was caught by 76ers point guard Andre Miller and forced into a travel while trying to push the ball upcourt.

Nelson brought Kelenna Azubuike back in at that point, replacing Randolph. The 76ers went 3-for-5 the rest of the way…

(Today’s installment of your faithful reporter’s quest to prognosticate all 1,230 NBA regular-season games this season)

Warriors (5-7) at 76ers (6-6), 2:05 p.m.
Pick: Warriors +6.5
Golden State is 5-2 as a ‘dog. That seems as good an indicator as any with this team.

Celtics (12-2) at Raptors (6-6), 9:35 a.m.
Pick: Celtics -4.5
“We’ve already made contingency plans if (Jermaine O’Neal) can’t go,” according to Sam Mitchell. The plan? Losing.

Timberwolves (2-9) at Pistons (8-4), 3:05 p.m.
Pick: Pistons -10
Allen Iverson vs. Randy Foye? If this was hand-to-hand combat, the ref would have to step in faster than Kimbo Slice’s last dive.

Bulls (6-7) at Nuggets (6-5), 6:05 p.m.
Pick: Nuggets -7.5
Going small against the Warriors? Sure. Going small against the Nuggets? Not so much.

Kings (5-9) at Lakers (10-1), 6:35, p.m.
Pick: Kings +16
Maybe Reggie Theus and P.J. Carlesimo can take a Christmas vacation to the Carribean and unwind.

Yesterday: 4-5
Season record: 90-99-3

– Geoff

(Today’s installment of your faithful reporter’s quest to prognosticate all 1,230 NBA regular-season games this season)

Rockets (8-5) at Magic (9-3), 4:05 p.m.
Pick: Magic -2.5
Dwight Howard is delivering more rejections than Paris Hilton in her search for a new BFF.

Bucks (6-8) at Bobcats (3-8), 4:05 p.m.
Pick: Bucks +2.5
I saw Sean May last night. My eyes have still not yet adjusted to his blotting out the sun.

Hawks (8-4) at Cavaliers (9-3), 4:35 p.m.
Pick: Hawks +11
The line kept going up after I made this pick early this morning. Somehow, that doesn’t breed confidence.

Pacers (5-6) at Heat (6-6), 4:35 p.m.
Pick: Heat -4.5
The Pacers will still be hearing Howard’s footsteps whenever they go downcourt.

Clippers (2-10) at Nets (5-6), 4:35 p.m.
Pick: Nets -3.5
That was a particularly spectacular flop by the Clippers in Philadelphia on Friday, right down to the one-on-three, no-hope 12-foot hook shot thrown up by BD at the final buzzer.

Wizards (1-9) at Knicks (6-6), 4:35 p.m.
Pick: Wizards +4
So Starbury wouldn’t take 35 minutes when offered them by D’Antoni? And I thought it was ugly before.

Thunder (1-12) at Hornets (6-5), 5:05 p.m.
Pick: Hornets -15.5
Hopefully, P.J. had enough foresight to rent on a week-to-week lease.

Jazz (8-5) at Grizzlies (4-8), 5:05 p.m.
Pick: Jazz +2.5
O.J. Mayo, but won’t.

Trail Blazers (8-5) at Suns (8-5), 6:05 p.m.
Pick: Trail Blazers +6.5
Now Shaq’s tweets have been revealed as false? Bummer. I actually liked this guy’s stuff better than the real Big Cactus

Yesterday: 5-7-1
Season record: 86-94-3

– Geoff